The person you talk to the most every single day is not your significant other, not your son/daughter, not your family members, not your best friend, not even your dog… but yourself. This self-talk is fueled by your thoughts which then creates your attitude. Your attitude then influences your actions. Self-Talk, Attitude, Actions…This is a never-ending cycle that determines how you view the world and events around you. This self-talk reveals one’s self-trust. Self-Trust is belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations, also known as self-confidence and self-efficacy. Self-trust is the secret ingredient that can make or break one’s performance in a variety of situations. From athletics, to a job interview, taking a standardized test, to leading an office meeting, etc., this belief in one’s self and performance is a requirement. Self-Trust can be built, maintained, and strengthened through consistent and intentional repetition- purposeful practice.  Purposeful practice of self-trust consists of five steps:

– Begin with the end in mind. What do you want? To become? To do? Your future first begins as a narrative that your brain tells you. What are you telling yourself?

– Clarify and define the required process to achieve that end. The more clarity with the required steps, the more likely they will be achieved. The key being making the steps unambiguous and right on the edge of your current skills and desired skills; pushing the edge of your current capabilities.

– Do the required work that your desired outcome requires. The not so popular or secret to success: work as hard as you can for as long as it takes. Every desired Outcome in your life has a required Response. The bigger the desired Outcome, the more difficult and longer it will take to give the required Response. Recognize this-Use this-Embrace this fact. (More on E+R=O check out

– Let your success in preparation fuel your self-trust. Elite meaning the best version of you, be Elite in your preparation.  Training to the very best of your ability creates and fuels your Elite mindset. This is called acquired self-confidence. During your performance, do what you have repeatedly done- revert back to your training and habits. Don’t prove how good you are, be how good you are.     

– Learn from the feedback you receive and apply this knowledge for the future. The outcome is feedback on your preparation. If you do not perform how you wanted to, that is the feedback that your preparation was not sufficient. Take this information and begin again more intelligently.

The best way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do. Sometimes you act because you are confident. Your confidence fuels your actions. And sometimes you take action and then build your confidence because you have acted. Confidence is built by action. Both of these require action, you taking the first step, to begin the process. Taking action leads to more actions. Opportunities multiply as they are chased. Take that first step, act. I believe that Newton’s first law of motion also applies to people: An object (person) at rest stays at rest and an object (person) in motion stays in motion.

The Stoics would say that you can’t argue with reality. You can, however, argue quite successfully with your feelings about reality. Those can be changed easily. Begin there, with your self-talk, if you don’t like something, if you want something to be different. Self-talk is the foundation that self-trust is constructed on. “When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” -Viktor Frankl

Your future first begins as a narrative that you tell yourself, what are you saying?

Life’s been good to me so far,


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